Saturday, February 9, 2013

The Sochi Re-Shuffle


The World Cup had the weekend off for some obscure reason*, which resulted in some serious depression for ski racing fans. Especially after the last few weeks, where we have been bombarded with World Juniors, U23's, World Cup medals galore (although not in La Clusaz - I've seen more exciting paint dry), and are getting pumped for World Championships!

Here are some mid-season story lines worth paying attention to:

 - We should be concerned about Russia. The courses go straight up and straight down. The athlete accommodation is a prison. They have stolen ALL the worlds cranes. It’s like the plot of a James Bond movie.

- I think everyone should walk to Russia, based on the air travel.

- The American World Champs team was named. All the American men were promptly shredded to bits by commentators.

The Canadian World Champs team was named. Eric Bjornsen had his boots filled with concrete by commentators.

 Finland named it’s World Champs team, and – what the hell, how come Torin Koos didn’t make it, he won, like, two of three races at US Nationals, and he beat Eric Bjornsen in an arm wrestle, and looks way better in a headband than Tad Elliot, and did I mention that he once was second in a classic sprint qualifier? What’s that? The USST doesn’t take anonymous internet commenter’s  into consideration in selection criteria? Oh. My bad.

- Sorry, was Torin Koos involved in some sort of controversy this year?(Ed. Note - Last USST selection/Torin Koos joke of this post, I swear.) 

-  The USST made a cover music video to some Taylor Swift song. Three good reasons to watch it: 1. You actually like the song despite trying really hard to deny it. 2. Jessie Diggins is one cute blond girl. 3. You can spot Noah Hoffman a mile away with that red hat. Does he sleep with that thing on? 

Every single Canadian made the Red Group for Period III. No, that’s not a joke

- Therese Johaug is really enthusiastic about her new Fischer skis. I’m actually on my way to the shop to get a pair now. Aside from that, the Norwegian women are really fast, as 5 are in the top 10 in the World Cup Overall. And Vibeke Skofterud has packed it in for the season.

Alex Harvey dislocated his shoulder, but didn’t really give a shit. No really, it didn’t even make the FIS Cross Country news page. 

 Justyna Kowalczyk sucked in Sochi, but didn't blame the down hills, her wax techs, or Marit Bjoergen. On second thought, maybe she just hasn't been interviewed about it yet. And yes, she is still 400 points ahead in the World Cup Overall (snooze).

- 33% of the Canadian women's World Cup Team ended their season early. The other 66% combined for a medal. Perianne Jones is now the worlds best team-sprint specialist ** Statistics are all about the presentation.


Next week, the World Cup reconvenes in Davos, Switzerland for some killer racing, killer scenery, and a gigantic inflatable... sheep? Goat? Should be good.




*The airline lost 93 pieces of baggage on the World Cup charter planes return to Europe from the Sochi World Cup. Coincidentally, it was the entire Red Groups baggage, and every single ski and pole came out broken.
** Statistics may or may not be clouded by authors bias. But probably not.

1 comments:

Mountainmums said...

Actually, on the sole article I read (sorry, don't remember where) about Kowalzcic dropping out of the DP, she did blame "bad skis"...